Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize