loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
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