What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
