they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
