Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
