Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
