Sponge bath it is.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
