could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
