I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
