I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
