the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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