so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
