I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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