It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
