WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
