he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
