heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
