So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
