hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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