two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
