Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am never drinking with the goths again.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
