Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
