So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
