I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
