the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
