Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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