the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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