Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
