i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i think i just naturally attract stoners
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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