I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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