apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
