doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I didn't notice because vodka
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
