im having a threesome with these popsicles
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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