Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
