He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I FOUND THE LEGS
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
