I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
