I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
