what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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