I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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