My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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