the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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