I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
