Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
