So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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