I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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