new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
