dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
