Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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