I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
