Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
