a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
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