Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
