never play flip cup with pint glasses
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
