dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
