I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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