Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
