I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
