so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
