So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
