I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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