Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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