think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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