That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
not ubering you a puppy
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
