Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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