Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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