And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
