marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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