THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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