Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
