I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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