hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
