The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
